Updated: Jan 4
This year started with a walk in the woods. It was intentional for I had to calm my anxious nerves. It was a brand new year and yet nothing seemed new. There were no new dreams nor any resolutions. It seemed as if the new year came in just to mock me for being stuck. The was no joy for leaving behind the past year for I wasn’t leaving them behind. The next twelve months looked the same.
But the continuation of life as it is despite the completion of a cycle of time is normal, isn’t it? Then why do we celebrate the completion of a period of time? No achievement was really waiting to be celebrated the night of 31st, or was it? No new beginnings are beginning the morning of 1st, or are they? Nothing really is changing for me, or is it? Perhaps, there are new things in store… perhaps!
And if the new happens, how will I respond to it? To imagine me in anything other than the present life looks odd though refreshing. I, waking up to a morning that feels different, to converse with someone new over breakfast, to feel different about working and to feel different about coming back home - I don’t know this new world and if I will fit in it despite my longing for it. I am too anxious to get out of the old but I am equally anxious about being a misfit in the new.
I walked my walk, took pictures, smiled, and wished “good morning” to people passing by. Dogs came up to me and licked my hands. I pet them in return and exchanged a few words with their owners. It was a different morning for sure, but the mornings after weren’t.